Playwriting

Ditty Playwriting Resume 2019.pdf |
Sometimes, I write plays. Here are a few of them.
Eloise Parker Goes to the Moon
(Drama, Full-Length)
When Eloise Parker is diagnosed with stage-three lung cancer, her initial terror gives way to hope with the revelation of a new experimental treatment: launching herself into space to extend her lifespan tenfold. But in order to do so, she must combat both the horrors of her disease and her own complicated relationships: with her wife, Victoria, whom she grows more and more distant from each day; with Tom, her co-pilot and child cancer survivor; and with the Moon itself, her childhood friend who may not have her best interests at heart. As the launch day draws closer and Eloise's disease spreads, tensions mount as all of her relationships are pushed to the breaking point. Will Eloise make it to the Moon? Will her marriage survive the trail? Do potatoes photosynthesize?
(No, but, seriously, DO they? It has been KILLING me.) All of these questions (except the one about photosynthesis, because, I mean, HOW) will be revealed when Eloise Parker Goes to the Moon. Presented as a part of Crashbox Theater Company's Read. Play. Write. V reading series.
(No, but, seriously, DO they? It has been KILLING me.) All of these questions (except the one about photosynthesis, because, I mean, HOW) will be revealed when Eloise Parker Goes to the Moon. Presented as a part of Crashbox Theater Company's Read. Play. Write. V reading series.
Rubiella: A Ghost Story
(Memory Play, One-Act)
Rubiella: A Ghost Story is a play about growing up, grappling with the past, and the inevitable terror that comes from watching your family get murdered in a variety of fun and interesting ways. Acclaimed comedian and face-haver Willy Appelman takes us on a wild journey through his past in a search for answers about his family, himself, and Rubiella, his live-in nanny of eight years who mysteriously vanished overnight never to be heard from again. As Willy wrestles with his own family’s recollections of Rubiella and his own fragmented memories, he slowly makes his way through the recurring nightmare that plagued him as a child: that of Rubiella murdering his entire family and the guilt that came with having such a nightmare. Will Willy be able to pin down Rubiella? Or will he be lost to the nightmare forever? With a plethora of puns and just a dash of James Taylor, Rubiella: A Ghost Story is a feel-good blood-sport memory play that brings out the scared little ten-year old in us all...and then murders it in a variety of fun and interesting ways. Presented as part of Pipeline Theater Company's Matchstick: While We Slept series.
B.B.'s Inferno
(Serialized Play)
When twelve-year-old Beatrice "B.B." Baxter loses her older brother in a tragic car accident, she embarks on a journey through the nine circles of Hell in order to get him back. Guided by the damned cowboy Coop McClintock and armed with nothing but her brother's favorite Foo Fighters album, B.B. fights her way through her own personal demons, literal demons, and Lucifer herself, the Queen of Darkness who's going through a pretty tumultuous breakup, on her journey to the center of Hell. Will B.B. get her brother back? Will Coop redeem himself for his past sins? Will Lucifer ever find love? The answers await in the depths of B.B.'s Inferno. Presented as part of #serials@theflea.
An Air Pump Named Desire
(Solo Play)
A play about trampolines, air pumps, and the terrifying prospect of coming into your own. Presented as part of Decent Company's inaugural show Lust.
Heartbreak; or, Why Sara Bareilles' 'King of Anything'
is the Greatest Song in the History of Goddamn Time
(Solo Play)
A play about towels, breakups, and why Sara Bareilles' 'King of Anything' is the greatest song in the history of goddamn time. Presented as part of Undiscovered Countries' November 2016 showcase.
The Chicken Man; or, A Supposedly Fun Thing I Did for Six Months
(Solo Play)
A play about boats, magic, and boat-magic. Presented as part of Undiscovered Countries' July 2015 showcase.
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Dragon
(Serialzed Play)
A young dragon-girl, Azazel, wants to be an actress. In her quest to become a young artist, she must face the great villains of racism, understudy tracks, and an ancient prophecy that foretells the apocalypse being summoned by a dragon appearing on Broadway. Will Azazel become the artist she always dreamed she'd be? Will Sir Malcolm the Dragon-Cleaver stop the apocalypse? Will Dragon-God ever OF COURSE HE WILL HE'S DRAGON-GOD. Presented as part of #serials@theflea.
Tom Mandelbrot Conquers the
Big Bad World
Book and Story by A.J. Ditty
Music and Lyrics by Jonathan Coulton
(Musical, Full-Length)
Tom Mandelbrot Conquers the Big Bad World tells the simple story of a supervillain in love. The tale centers on Tom Octavius Mandelbrot, a loveable slacker of a computer programmer who dreams of one day conquering all mankind. After successfully pitching his first video game, Tom finally has the incentive to start his life of crime, and, along with his trusty sidekick Robot Monkey Butler Brian Dennehy, sets out to rule the world and win the heart of his one true love, Laura Springfield. But, after kidnapping Tom Cruise in order to gain national attention, his plans go horribly awry, inadvertently causing the zombie apocalypse and Robot Monkeys to take over the world. Can Tom Mandelbrot save humanity from his own creations? Will he win the heart of his beloved Laura? Will Tom Cruise ever find love? Set to the whimsically morbid tunes of geek-rock god Jonathan Coulton, this musical seeks to tackle the age-old struggle of finding your place in the world and the wonderfully crazy experience of falling in love with a robot monkey.
Sketch
(Solo Play)
A play about life, death, and children's books. Presented as a part of Undiscovered Countries' Infinite Festival.
RIP
(Dramedy, One-Act)
A play about growing up, coping with loss, and ripping the organs out of the ones you love.
Magellanica
(Drama, One-Act)
A boy, Miguel de Escondido, and his cat, La Gata, go in search of the boy's lost father, Roderigo de Escondido, after he disappears under mysterious circumstances. Following up on his father's last cryptic words about a land called "Magellanica", Miguel and La Gata set off on a journey to bring him home. Along the way, the two encounter many perils and pitfalls, including the fearsome Borracho- a manic depressive giant who is the last of his kind. Will Miguel and La Gata find Magellanica in time to save his father? Or will the quest prove too much for the young adventurer to bear? Presented as a part of Boxed Wine Productions' "Off the Map" one-act festival.
Deaf, Dumb, and Blind
(Drama, Full-Length)
An Irish triptych, Deaf, Dumb, and Blind chronicles the journey of three Irishmen seeking to find their footing in an Ireland that seems to be steadily disintegrating beneath their feet. Balbh, an electrical engineer in the 1950s, must choose between the progress of his nation and the survival of his family; Bodhar, a banker in the late 1990s, must grapple with his own greed in the face of a nation gone mad; and Dall, a collage artist in modern day Dublin, must find a way to make sense of it all to create his masterpiece: a collage encompassing Ireland in the Modern Age. As all three men face the sweeping cultural and political change of Ireland in their respective times, the line between reality and fantasy blur, creating a kaleidoscopic vision of Ireland that is as melodic as it is haunting. Will these three be able to save their beloved country? Or will they stagger about in the darkness, deaf, dumb, and blind?
Bad Company
(Comedy, One-Act)
America and the Economy sit down for dinner. It's not pretty.
How the Great Grapefruit Danced in the Moonlight
(Drama, Full-Length)
How the Great Grapefruit Danced in the Moonlight tells the story of a group of childhood friends facing the insurmountable loss of innocence that comes with growing up. The Group gathers after one year apart, bound by a tragedy that seeks to define them: Edward, a musically gifted boy with a mean streak; Connor, a compulsive liar and would-be philosopher; Jamie, a singer searching for forgiveness; Mary, a quiet, Catholic girl trying to hold them all together; and Amelia, an aspiring artist who may or may not be losing her mind. As the night moves from happy meeting to dark reckoning, friendships are tested and tempers erupt, causing the very foundation of the Group to slowly crumble. Can the Group survive the night and return to the days when the great grapefruit danced in the moonlight?
Other Plays:
Heart of Duckness (Comedy, Full-Length)
Munichtown (Comedy, Full-Length)
Arthur Miller is Trapped in a Tiny Box or Quotations from Chairman Joe McCarthy (Comedy, One-Act)
Scarce (Comedy, One-Act)
U-Turn (Drama, Full-Length)
Munichtown (Comedy, Full-Length)
Arthur Miller is Trapped in a Tiny Box or Quotations from Chairman Joe McCarthy (Comedy, One-Act)
Scarce (Comedy, One-Act)
U-Turn (Drama, Full-Length)